Tuesday, June 11, 2013

No, Vicki, we cannot "whoop-it-up."

And so began Part 2 of the Puerto Vallarta trip on the Real Housewives of Orange County…

As Tamra mounted the bar at Vicki's "old haunt," Andale's (which, can I just say, became her go-to word of the night. She occasionally alternated to her mantra, "whoop it up," something that I have no interest joining her in.) Gretchen gossiped in the back of the limo with Heather like two middle schoolers in the bathroom.
Tamra donned a corsette and climbed on top of a taxi. How old are you.

Then the mouse from Cinderella came onto the screen and tried to stir things up. Oh wait, that's just Lydia.

As if that weren't enough for a one-hour show, Vicki - uh, unburdened - her bladder in Tamra's bed. Okay. 

Looks like Vicki might need to upgrade to the heavy duty stuff.

As the women headed out of the hotel perfectly hungover, they immediately tried to lighten the mood with "erotic" toys in the back of a limo. And then the poor guy making every effort to give the ladies a tour of the city…he will never be the same.
Next, as the great parable goes, The Great Flood of Gretchen began. 

Thank God she had someone there to comfort her.

And if I hear about one more friendship bracelet…

Also, Alexis' husband or John Travolta?
The great part is, he even takes on Travolta's creepy, bad guy role in The Taking of Pelham 123. 

Enter: strippers. 
End of post.

Okay, just kidding, but really. I don't think the ladies were needing a pregnancy test (that ship has sailed), but rather a test for any new STDs. Please just take a look at the location of Gretchen's head through the majority of the scenes. Yes, it was inside the crotch of a, just short of high end, stripper. 

The rest of the episode is a blur. Until Lydia's ears/teeth took over the screen again and she tried to stir the pot. 
Until next week… 

Favorite line. Ever.