Saturday, September 22, 2012

How do these things happen to me?

I don't know how I swing it, but I somehow always manage to find myself in the most uncomfortable situations. We're talking, Larry-David-Curb-Your-Enthusiasm kind of awkward. Now that I am living in a tiny college town, my awkward moments have seemed to skyrocket from bi-weekly to hourly.
Basically the most happening place here is the local Kroger grocery store. I am, as you all already know, quite a foodie - I graze constantly. My fridge is fully stocked due to my food addiction and necessary daily grocery shopping excursions.
So, a few days ago, I ran in to get some snacks and restock my mini-fridge. After making my way down every aisle - can't resist - I finally realized it was time to leave before I bought out the entire store. I noticed that all the lines were full besides one bored-looking checker. After a quick hello, I set my things down not prepared for what would come next.

As any courteous consumer, I inquired about her day and how she was doing. I noticed a flash of sadness in her eyes and knew I was screwed, I couldn't escape now. And this is why her line was the only empty one:

Me: How are you doing today?
Glenda: (long pause) Not well.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Are you okay?
Glenda: (eyes filling with desperation) No, baby, I'm not. I think my boyfriend broke up with me

               Just out of curiosity, how would you not be
               aware if you are still dating?

Me: Oh that's horrible. I am so sorry.
Glenda: (tearing up) It's alright, he had a horrible drinking habit.
Me: Well, Glenda, you are so much better than that. This is probably the best thing then.
Glenda: You're probably right, (full blown tears) but we been together two years n I love him.
Me: But Glenda, you need to respect yourself enough to say no. He isn't good for you.
Glenda: I know, baby. You are so right.
Me: I know you can do so much better.
Glenda: You're right baby, I can. (Sobbing)

This all occurred while checking out my groceries. How do I manage to place myself in these situations? Just lucky, I guess.

I then told her I would be back to visit her, I will keep you all updated on the Glenda-front. 


  1. Hmm. Might be because you're a kind person and others can spot that right off? That would be my guess.

    1. Miss Maggie, you are too sweet! I'm quite positive that's not why, but thank you :)

  2. Great blog... Love your sense of humor!!!

  3. The universe has been sending ALL sorts of crazy situations my way recently. UGH